Cross My Heart & Hope to Die
by oh so glamorous
Summary: AU. Murder, deceit, lies, passion. Whatever could go wrong?
1. prologue

**_yeah, yeah, you're asking for it with every breath you breathe in  
( COME ON, HIT ME )  
_**

He tells me that he loves me and a shiver runs down my spine.

We're lying here, our bodies intertwined on the soft, cotton sheets, and he tells me that he loves me. He is warm, his breath soft against my neck as he pulls me towards him. His voice is a gentle whisper as he ropes a hand around my waist and arches my back to him, my neck tilted and vulnerable. There is a ripple of his muscles as he moves, and I can feel the strength in between each subtle movement of his body. Protection. That's what some people call it. Protection. He could be protection, and this could be safety. He's bigger than me – a giant in comparison, and I can still feel his warm breath against the contours of my neck. There's a vein that runs from my brain and to my heart. The jugular, and it's throbbing with the subtly of my pulse. I can hear it. When he tells me that he loves me, everything is gone. No fucking world. No more fucking morals. Just lunatics and fakers and the filth of the streets. We lie together on the blue cotton sheets and I am reminded of the nature of every creature alive – every living thing that I've ever strived to be. Humanity. Morality. Society. They're all crumbling against the warmth of his breath against my neck, and I know – I've always known – that I'll never need them anyway. The society we lived in today, no longer existed. It was just me and him. We are what society has tried to crush, lying here together on this warm, comforting bed.

Nothing else matters. Ethics crumble when he opens his mouth. We are not do-gooders or high standing citizens. We are nothing. When the civilized people fall apart, we'll always have each other. As he tells me that he loves me, his touch on my body is firm, but in the pads of his fingers I can feel tenderness. His voice is void of emotion or anything at all, but emotion isn't what connects us. It's instinctual, and somehow, out of all of that, he can tell me still that he loves me. Somehow, out of all of that, I'm wanted – needed by someone. Content within a world where at least one person manages to look me in the eye and assure me that they desire me. He tells me he loves me within a world of hate. The look on his face is sad, but I only glance at it for one moment before my heavy eyelids close. I bury my nose into his neck, breathing in his scent, his familiar smell. Feeling the pressure against my skull now. I pop my eyes open, but there was nothing on my head. Just his hands on my waist and his steady breathing in my ear. I was content with life. He was, too. I had him, he had me. His fingers toyed with a stray piece of my hair as I traced his jaw, strong and masculine.  
"You know I love you, right?" He says, looking me in the eyes. I nod and lean in for a kiss, it was sweet, natural. Then, there's pressure against my skull, and I open my eyes once more to his wicked smile. He tells me he loves me once more, and pulls the trigger.

**please review.**


	2. one

**_i find it kinda sad that all the dreams in which im dying_  
( ARE THE BEST I EVER HAD )**

"...Westchester High School student missing. Around the age of eighteen..." As the news anchor spoke, a picture showed up in the top right corner of the TV screen, a chill going down Claire Lyon's back. Not only because this girl was from her future high school, but because the girl shown was gorgeous. Her dark blonde hair was wavy and her face was flawless, she looked like a high-fashion model; not a high school student. "She was last seen three weeks ago an-" Claire looked behind her and saw her all-time best friend, Josh Hotz, standing behind her with the TV control in his hand. He was in skinny jeans, a simple white James Perse v-neck with a black zip-up Volcom hoodie. He kicked off his DC shoes and slid off his Jansport book bag.

"Why aren't you ready, Kuh-lur? School starts in, like, half-an-hour." He pulled a wet piece of Claire's hair. "And your hair is still wet."

Claire scoffed. "I know that, genius. I already have my outfit set out, I just need to dry my hair..." her voiced trailed off as she went into her bathroom and locked it. Claire could just feel Josh rolling his eyes. Claire and Josh have been best friends since they were in diapers. Their mothers' met freshmen year of high school and have best friends since then. A few months ago, Claire's mom and dad got divorced and Josh's mom was already a single mom. Their moms decided it was time to move and start fresh and now here they are. All the way from Riverside, California to the big-daddy of all cities; Westchester, New York. They didn't live in those secluded neighborhoods, where the houses cost at least nine-hundred thousand dollars. Claire, her mother and her dog, Tod, lived in a quaint no-name neighborhood down by the Town Center. Josh and his mother lived four houses down. Their houses basically looked the same, on the outside and on the inside as well. Both their moms had recently gotten well-paying jobs. So although their houses weren't all that big or pretty and mortgage wasn't all that much, they still had a lot leftover to spend on.

Claire looked herself in the mirror and pursed her lips. She looked at her hair, already half-dry, half-damp. She shrugged, deciding to skip drying her hair and move onto the make up. She grabbed her little pouch from one of the drawers and leaned into the mirror, unzipping the pouch and grabbing eyeliner. She carefully out-lined her almond shaped eyes. Ten minutes later, she looked effortlessly pretty, which took the most effort. She put all her make-up products back in the pouch and dumped it in the drawer. She walked out, seeing Josh snoring on her bed. Claire rolled her eyes and grabbed her outfit off her bed. She looked at the clock, it was 6:25 and first period starts at seven. She looked at Josh on the bed and noticed he was still sleeping, snoring like a dog. Claire shimmied off her baggy sweatpants and took off her white wife-beater, slinging it on the floor. She slipped on her gray jersey tank, the material feeling like silk on her skin. She grabbed her ruffle mini-skirt and slipped it on, bumping into her drawer at the same time. She tuck it her tank and pulled it her skirt up, a inch or two below her bust. She swiped her belt off the desk and slipped it around her waist and closed it. She almost jumped two feet in the air when she heard a roar of laughter behind her.

It was Josh laughing like a gorilla. Of course. Wasn't he sleeping five seconds ago...

"Check your butt, Claire-bear," Josh pointed. Claire immediately turned around and stuck out her butt. Her skirt was tucked in her underwear, plaid boy shorts that said '_Yummy!_' on the butt in script.

She grabbed a throw pillow and threw it forcefully at him. "Shuddup!" She said turning red as she fixed her skirt. "And what were you doing looking at me change, you perv."

"I was sleeping 'till you made that loud noise," Josh smirked.

Claire rolled her sky-blue eyes, tying her ribbon-chain necklace around her neck. She grabbed her Jil Sander tote, looking in to see if she had all her notebooks and fuzzy pens. As she rumaged through her bag she felt Josh's eyes on her.

Claire sighed and looked at Josh. "What?"

"Nothing," Josh shrugged. "Just that your _look_ has changed a lot."

Claire put her Blackberry into her bag as she spoke. "Whaddya mean?"

"We used to have the same book bag and me and you would share hoodies. I mean, you would go to school in those sweatpants," Josh pointed to the floor.

"And we've only been living here for a week and you already splurged on those shoes and that bag. And about everything else in your closet," he added.

Claire rolled her eyes. "I just needed change."

She walked to him. "I'm still the same ol' Claire-bear, ya know. Just better-dressed."

Josh pursed his lips and crossed his arms over his chest. Josh could act so big-brother/security guard-ish sometimes.

Claire punched his arm. "Come on, J. Don't be like that. I won't change at all. As long as we stick together, we'll always be the same on the inside." Claire cracked up on how corny she sounded. Josh did too.

"Fine, whatever," Josh mumbled.

"But for real, how kuh-yoot does my butt look in this skirt?" Claire wriggled her butt and strutted over-dramatically out the door. Josh followed behind and put an arm around her, bumping hips.

"Absolutely '_yummy_' baby-boo," Josh said, cackling. Claire couldn't help but laugh too. They walked outside, a fierce, cold wind smacking them in the faces.

"Damn New York and it's ultra-freezing weather," Claire started to pull out her black Betsey Johnson cardigan out of her tote.

"No more warm winters in Cali or tanning in December," Josh piped up and they went inside his car. "I think this is the first hoodie I've worn in like, five years."

"Whatev-URRRR," Claire yelled out as Josh pulled out the tiny driveway. She cranked up the music until the car was vibrating, their ears ringing. Josh drove fast, whooshing past other cars and running a few red lights. He didn't care. Neither of them did. They were two best friends starting fresh at a new high high school, where no one has ever heard of them before. A new song came on, with a loud base and a throbbing beat. Both bumped their heads to the song and grinned at each other singing their lungs out, laughing, swaying and clapping. They sang all the way to school, ready for whatever was gonna be unleashed on them.

_Or so they thought._

**like, hate, love? review.  
bytheway, in this particular story, the prologue really did happen _before_ all of this. not after.  
& yes, i know that the prologue was kind of confusing, sorry, it'll all come together later. oh,  
and tell me your favorite pairing, closh or clam? kthankbye :)**


	3. two

**_are you ready to get undressed, besides every touch is like_  
( A HEART ON FIRE )  
**

Josh and Claire walked side by side, Claire's ankle boots _click-clacking_ on the pavement. As they walked down, they were stared at, even pointed at, almost as if they were in some cliche movie. Claire blushed and lowered her head, her locks covering her face like a curtain. Josh guided her to sit down on a stone bench.

"I guess people here have a staring problem," Josh muttered.

Claire laughed. "I guess so."

They didn't notice but right next to them was a girl. She had plain, straight black hair and bangs. Pretty blue earring adorned her ears and a gray cardigan was slipping all her slim shoulders. She had on a denim romper on, over a pale blue blouse. Her legs were crossed, her tan gladiator sandals matched the tiny ruched purse she had in her lap. She noticed she was holding a iTouch, a rock song blasting through her earphones.C

Claire quickly averted her eyes when a wave of designer perfumes hit her abruptly. She turned her gaze to two girls walking down the middle of the pavement in front of them. It was as almost as if the world stopped, they looked like they were walking in slow-motion. Their skinny-as-a-toothpick arms were linked together. They had the same face and bodies, tall, tan and snot-faced; but their hair and their style was polar opposites. One girl had a soft Audrey-Hepburn style, a light pink dress with a dark beige ribbon and cream-colored heels. Her dark hair was in waves, adorning her heart-shaped faced perfectly. Beside her was a exotic-looking girl with raven hair, wearing black denim shorts that could be mistaken for underwear and holding a iced coffee from Starbucks in her free hand. Both had that blank model stare, taking slow, long strides to the front steps of the school. They sat down, the exotic one slipped on her Ray-Bans and took dainty sips from her drink. The brunette fishing for something in her tiny white clutch bag. She took out a to what looked like a iPhone and began texting.

"That was...something," Josh spoke, clearing his throat awkwardly.

"And why are their outfits so skimpy, it's nippy out here," Claire hugged her cardigan closer to her.

"Maybe they're used to it," Josh muttered.

Claire shrugged, then hearing the music next to her stop. She felt a soft tap on her arm. She turned around, seeing the girl taking out her ear buds.

"Those two," the girl nodded to their direction, "are kind of the rulers of the school. Their names are Massie and Alicia."

Claire took a look around and stopped her gaze on the bunch of cheerleaders in maroon and white uniforms. "What about them?"

The girl shook her head. "The cheerleaders are the sluts of the school. They don't really do anything besides getting screwed by the football team."

Claire half-smiled, quietly giggling. She faced her and took out her hand. "Well, I'm Claire."

She shook her hand and Claire leaned a little bit out to show who was next to her. "And he's Josh."

The girl gave a small smile and nod to Nathan and switched her gaze back to Claire. "I'm Layne, just kind of a drifter here."

"Oh, did you guys get your schedule yet?" Layne asked, popping a piece of gum in her mouth.

Claire's and Josh's eye popped wide open. "Oh, _shit_," Josh sighed.

"Crap, we forgot about those," Claire said standing up. "It was really nice meeting you, Layne."

Claire checked her phone, it was 6:55 and first period started in five minutes. Guess they had to get late passes, but whatever, it's their first day there.

"Maybe we have some classes together," Claire said, smiling. "Bye!"

Layne called out a simple bye as well and popped on her ear buds again. Claire quickley caught up with Josh, her mile-long legs never failed her. They walked in, seeing a lady with light brown hair piled up in a large bun. She had on cat-eye glasses and her whithered fingers had on tons of rings. On the counter in front of her was a gold plate that had MRS. CARSWELL engraved into it. Josh and Claire stopped in front of her desk, awkwardly standing for a few seconds.

"Uh, we're new here a-," Josh spoke first but Mrs. Carswell interrupted.

"State your ID number please."

"Do I say the one that I had in my old sc-?"

"Yes."

"Oh-six-one-five-four-eight-six." She typed it in, click the mouse a few times and the printer a few feet away front them made a high-pitched whirring sound. Josh walked towards it and grabbed the piece of paper hanging out.

"And yours?" She averted her gazed towards Claire.

"Oh-five-two-five-seven-four-one." A few seconds later, the machine made the sound again and Josh snatched it for her. Claire muttered a thank you and followed Josh out the door.

"That old lady was such a-," Josh cut her off and pointed to the bottoms of their paper.

"We have lunch, seventh and eighth together. That's it."

"They have eight periods here? Damn," Claire muttered and snatched her schedule from Josh's grip.

LYONS, CLAIRE - GRADE 12 - 0525741

AP english lit - **kelser, brian**  
AP art history - **bronder, melony**  
french 7-8 honors - **kashpur, irina**  
AP calculus - **kirk, lauren**  
theatre/film 3 - **hall, herb**  
AP physiology - **genakos, jaclyn**  
lunch/barnabee hall  
AP american gov - **ryan, william**  
art photography 2 - **briggs, tim**

Claire looked at the room number and looked around the campus. "It says my first period is in the eleven-hundred building."

"Me, too." Josh said. "Eleven-hundred-oh-six."

"Eleven-hundred-oh-two."

"Cool, that probably means you're a few doors down from me."

Claire looked around, looking for some mark that would mark the building as the eleven-hundred building. Finally, she saw a building that that had an 11 on it. It was small and white and almost covered with moss and ivy.

"Come on!" Claire grabbed Josh's wrist as they scurried to the building, they opened up the door and saw the hallway was nearly empty, students going into class. Josh saw his class and gave Claire's hand a squeeze.

"I'll see you later at lunch, Claire," Josh gave one small smile and walked into his class. Claire looked down the hall and saw her room number. She walked to it and took a big breath and sharply exhaled. She opened the door as the bell rang, slightly startling her. She walked in and twenty-two pairs of eyes were suddenly on her.

_She froze._


	4. three

**_when i see you smile, tears roll down my face. now that im strong,  
_( I'VE FIGURED IT OUT )**

Claire twirled one of the bracelets on her hand awkwardly as she felt every pair of eyes inspect every inch of her, glaring and staring. Claire looked to the floor, biting the inside of her cheek and waited for someone to say something.

"Don't be shy," A low voice said. Claire fixed her eyes on the man a few feet away from her. He was filing a stack of papers and Claire knew this was the teacher. Claire nodded and walked to him.

"Class, go back to doing the bell-ringer," he said loudly. He faced back towards Claire again. "So, you're the new student, uhh...Miss Claire Lyons, right?"

Claire nodded. "Yes," her voice barely a murmur.

"Well, in my opinion it wasn't very smart to move to a new school during the end of first semester, but you can catch up right?"

"Yes," Claire said again, sounding like a brain-dead zombie.

"Good. And Claire don't be shy, you look like you'll fit in fine, hmm? Oh and you can take a seat now," he said as he sat down.

Claire turned around slowly and saw that there were only two empty desks. One was right in the center of the classroom, it was in the middle of a group of bitchy-looking girls. The other was in the far-off corner in the back. Claire made her way to the desk, slowly as possible so she wouldn't stumble or trip. She sat down, putting her tote on her lap and taking out her Blackberry to text Josh.

**clairebearxo:**AHH im so nervous! :(

She looked on the white board on in blue marker it said "Bell Ringer" and below it was a paragraph. She read it and realized it had a few grammar and spelling errors, she guessed the "Bell Ringer" was to fix the errors. She took out a notebook out of her tote and a black pen. As she wrote her name and date in the corner, her phone vibrated, startling her and she dropped her pen. Her pen made a loud ping noise and rolled to the next desk, far for her to reach. She made an effort anyway, a few inches away from her fingertips. Then a hand came down, a guy's hand, and picked it up. Claire slowly put back her hand and looked slowly up, from his arm, to his neck then to his face. And Claire's jaw nearly dropped. His eyes was a light, soft tone of butterscotch. His hair was a dirty blonde, natural streaks of gold and honey, straight and grazed his eyelashes. Claire swallowed back her shyness and held out her hand.

"Thanks," Claire said, a small small playing on her lips.

He nodded, the corner of his lips turned up, a crooked half-smile. "No problem."

He handed her the pen, the tips of his fingers brushed her palm very lightly, giving her tingles. As he did, she took a look into his eyes. They were gorgeous. A light hazel with amber mixed inside, playful and fun eyes. She placed the pen on the side of her notebook. Her blackberry vibrated again. She took it and it was a text from Josh.

**joshiesz:**dont be!!! imma kick yo ass later if you dont stop being shy :p

Claire giggled and typed back quickly.

**clairebearxo:**lol i dont think im shy anymore. ttyl ily.

She turned off her phone and finished writing the rest of her bell-ringer. She didn't think that this day would be bad.

_Not at all._


	5. four

**_rather stay awake when im asleep, because my dreams, they are all  
_( BURSTING AT THE SEAMS )**

As the teacher, Mr. Kelser, called out on students to fix the problems on the board, a tall blonde girl came in. Full out skank-ified with a tiny cheerleading uniform; black, orange and white, the school colors. The girls in the center of the class squealed and giggled as the blonde sat down in the empty desk in the middle of all them.

"Olivia, please get here earlier," Mr. Kelser said, a scowl on his mouth.

"I was at the trainer, my bad," Olivia said, not sounding one bit apologetic.

Mr. Kelser sighed and turned his back to continue writing. The second he did, Olivia motioned for her groupies to lean in and she started to whisper, her blonde ponytail swaying. Claire gave a death stare to Olivia's back, she _knew_ she was going to be a problem.

"No homework tonight. Tale of Two Cities test is Friday!" Mr. Kelser's booming voice overlapped the ringing bell. Claire slid all her pens and her notebook into her tote and quickly slid her schedule out of the clear elastic on her binder. AP Art History was next. She looked at the room number, 308. What? It sounded very unfamiliar because all the other room numbers on her schedule were five-digits. She got up and walked out of the room, looking for someone who looked nice. She tapped the boy who was picked up her pencil.

"Hey, do you know where 308 is?"

"Yeah, I have that class seventh period." He said, nodding. His hand pulled on her arm, making her face the right side of the hall. He pointed out. "Walk that way and make a left by the eleven-hundred building. You'll see portables and 308 is towards the back. It's sort of a long walk."

"Sucks for you. Better get moving," a high-pitched Barbie voice chirped out bitterly. It was Olivia. She nudged herself under his arm, moving it off Claire. He pursed his lips and murmured something in her ear.

"Whatever," Olivia snapped. "Come on, girls."

She strutted away with her groupies hanging on her heel.

"Sorry about that," he grinned. Claire felt her cheeks burn.

"No problem," Claire said. "Well I better get going, thanks for the help."

She turned on her heel to leave but felt a hand brush her arm.

"I'm Derrick, by the way."

"Claire," she nodded. She finally turned away, walking with confidence, but inside she felt like butterlies were vomiting in her stomach.

The bell rang, abruptly waking Claire up. As she did a string of drool broke and she looked down on her arm, a pool of drool on it. Claire made a face and wiped it away quickly.

"Stay awake next time, Miss Lyons," Mrs. Bronder snapped. She was a whiny, cranky old lady with a spitting problem. Claire heard a few girls behind her snicker and giggle.

"Sorry," Claire slurred and put her tote on her shoulder and took out her schedule. French was next. It was in the nine-hundred building, not too far off. Claire slumped the whole way, still tired and feeling sluggish. As she walked, she noticed a bathroom. She walked in to check herself out. The bathroom was surprisingly empty. At her old school there were always hordes of girls holding lipgloss and eyeliner squealing, trying to get the mirror. She walked to the mirror, her hair was fine, so was her makeup, but there was a small smudge on the corner of her eye. She leaned it, using her pointer finger to wipe it away. As she did, she saw two girls walk in quikly, going into stalls and locking themselves in. They started to talk about some party and Claire zoned herself out. Until, of course, they said something that caught her attention.

"Ohmigod, did you see that new girl?" Skank #1 said.

"I know! And Oliva got, like, so mad when she was talking to Derrick!"

"If the newbie keeps talking to Derrick, Oliva will so do something totally evil to her."

"I hope she does, I love it when Oliva goes into bitch-mode."

"Isn't she always in bitch mode?"

Skank #2 squealed. "Kori, you are so bad!"

Skank #1 giggled and squealed even louder. "I know!"

Claire wanted to punch a wall. Her ears were ringing and she just wasted three minutes listening to these Barbies. She walked out, walking on the balls of her feet so she wouldn't make any noise. She scurried towards the nine-hundred building and entered the room with a big sign that said "Ms. Kashpur" in black marker on the window. She walked in and walked towards the teacher, she was petite, young with red hair and light freckles all over her cheeks and nose. She was pretty. Claire was happy she had French third period. Claire has been taking French since seventh grade and had been speaking it since she was eleven.

"Bonjour, vous devez être Claire Lyons. Bienvenue au seven-eight français. Je suis Mlle Kashpur. Je suspecte que vous sachiez le français très bien?"

"Oui, je suis Claire. Et ouais j'avais appris le français pendant quelques années maintenant." Claire nodded, smiling.

Miss Kashpur sent a sweet smile. "Bon, alors vous ferez bien ici. Veuillez prendre un siège."

Claire nodded and looked around the room, looking for an empty seat. There were quite a few. She counted, there were only fourteen students here. As she did, she noticed there were mainly girls and three or four boys. She took a random seat towards the middle of the left side. She saw from the corner of her eye someone familiar. She turned to the right and saw the brunette from earlier. Massie was her name. And in front of her was the raven-haired girl, Alicia. Massie caught her staring and looked at her up and down and faced the front of the room. Claire blushed and noticed Alicia staring at her too. Alicia sent her a tiny smile and faced foward again.

"Classe, vont paginer quarante dans votre livre, obtiennent un associé et obtiennent de travailler," Ms. Kashpur clapped her hands twice and sat down, going to her computer.

_Get a partner?_ Claire thought nervously. She remembered eariler counting only fourteen. That's an even number, which meant everyone was going to have a partner except for her. She was going to be alone.

_Shit._


End file.
